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Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I've
held this grudge

Eleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you've been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach?


I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us


Like an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
will I simply re-live it
somehow gratuitous


But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing


I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us


Maybe as I cut the cord
veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
much determined
ever ill-equipped
to draw this curtain
how this has entertained
validated
and has served me well
ever the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.


es wurde aufgew?hlt was nich h?tte hochkommen sollen.
ein schmerzhaftes gespr?ch, das aber stattfinden musste.

Aber die Zeit wird kommen, wo ich befreit davon bin. JA!

Gef?hle ?ndern sich nunmal, so m?ssen meine das auch tun, irgendwann.

~wirre aufkeimende hoffende gedanken


1.3.05 02:01


Switchfoot
You


It's always something in the way
It's always something getting through
But it's not me
It's you
It's you

Sometimes ignorance reads through
But I hope it's not what I know
It's not in me
It's in you
It's in you

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

And I find peace when I'm confused
And I find hope when I head down
Not in me, me
In you
It's in you

I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find you in the end
Not in me, me
In you
In you

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

In you
In you
It's in you
It's in you

It's always something in the way
It's always something getting through
But it's not me, me
It's you
It's you
It's you
It's you
It's you

ja....wei? au nich ich bin besoofn O.o
12.3.05 23:55





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